Infertility Authors & Experts Interview: Cindy Bailey, The Fertile Kitchen® Cookbook

Q&A WITH CINDY BAILEY

Co-Author of The Fertile Kitchen Cookbook®

Question: How did the idea for The Fertile Kitchen Cookbook® come about?

Answer: This book came out of our own experience. After trying to conceive for over a year, we visited a fertility specialist who gave us a 2% chance of conceiving on our own. Of course, I was devastated, but at the same time I refused to accept his grim prognosis. It was simply unacceptable to me that I don’t get to have a child, so I did a lot of research and put myself on a fertility friendly diet, among other healing regimens, such as yoga and meditation. Four months later, after I turned 40 years old, my husband and I conceived – naturally. During that time, what made the restrictive diet so much easier to follow was my husband Pierre’s cooking. He created a wide variety of dishes that were simple to make, yet full of flavor (you can’t tell these dishes contain no wheat, sugar or dairy!). Having those recipes kept us from getting bored and giving up. It made the diet easier to follow and helped us stick with it. Plus, it was a project we could do together, and we both felt empowered by the process. Naturally, we wanted to share what we learned and all the recipes with others in hopes that it might help them in the way it helped us.

Question: What is the goal or message of your cookbook?

Answer: Our goal is to spread the message that, yes, you absolutely can make a difference in your own fertility through diet and nutrition. And through our book, we aim to empower women and couples to do so.

Also, because we know first-hand how overwhelming and stressful going through fertility issues can be, we designed our book to be easy to use in every way. Dietary guidelines are painless to follow and recipes are simple, yet flavorful, to make.

Question: Are there specific foods women should avoid while trying to conceive?

Answer: Yes – any foods or drinks that overly tax or stress our bodies. These include overly processed foods, trans fat, processed sugar and artificial sweeteners. Dairy and wheat products should also be avoided or, even better, eliminated, because they are hard to digest. Also, many women have a sensitivity, intolerance or outright allergy to dairy or wheat, creating a lot of inflammation in the body and making them especially hard on digestion (as well as the body). We want to create less work for digestion so our body’s energy can be applied elsewhere, such as to our reproductive system, for healing and growth.

You also want to avoid alcohol, caffeine, sodas, coffee, iced or cold beverages (stick with foods closer to your body temperature), and fruit juices (too much concentrated sugar, although whole fruits are great).

Question: What types of recipes do you feature in your book?

Answer: We feature a variety of ethnically diverse recipes that are all simple to make. Women and couples struggling with fertility issues are often already overwhelmed. We didn’t want them to feel changing their diet would be another burden. We wanted them to enjoy flavorful dishes so they wouldn’t notice too much that they were on a diet. We feature recipes for vegetables, beans, rice and grains, meat, seafood, soups and salads, sides and sauces and breakfast dishes. We only feature a couple of desserts, as processed sugar is not allowed. Favorite dishes include: Vietnamese Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken with Portobello Mushrooms, Lamb Stew, Spicy Garbanzo Beans, Crepes Salée, Chile Con Carne (healthy version) and more. All are easy to make.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

As a former athlete, Cindy Bailey has a passion for good health and nutrition, and a commitment to helping others find natural, holistic ways of healing. In addition to giving workshops and talks on Eating and Fertility, she is a professional member of RESOLVE, the national infertility organization, and is on the Advisory Board for the International Academy of Baby Planner Professionals (IABPP). Her fertility story has aired nationally on NBC and CBS.

www.fertilekitchen.com  -  @fertilektichen  -  facebook.com/fertilekitchen

Infertility Authors & Experts Interview: Lisa Newton, Amateur Nester Blooger

Q&A WITH LISA NEWTON

                                                 Blogger at AmateurNester.com

Question: How did the creation of your website, AmateurNester.com, come about?

Answer: I originally intended it to be a blog about my attempts at DIY, crafting, and decorating my home. I quickly realized I wasn’t very good at any of that, and decided to blog about my infertility treatments instead. Luckily for me, the name of the blog lent itself to both DIY and infertility!

Question: What has been the toughest part of your journey?

Answer: The toughest part is how much infertility affects every other area of my life.  Obviously, it takes a huge financial and emotional toll, but it’s also affected other, more surprising areas. For example, I’ve gained some weight since our treatments started, but I’ve resisted buying new clothes because each month I hope I’ll get pregnant. I don’t want to waste good money on clothes that I’ll outgrow during a pregnancy. So, I have very few clothes that fit right now and it’s taken a surprising toll on my self-image. 

Question: You interview other couples who have gone through the infertility rollercoaster. What story has inspired you the most?

Answer: That is almost impossible to answer! Each interview inspires me in different ways depending on their circumstances and stories. However, if I had to choose one, I’d say it’s Candace and Chris from Our Misconception. They have been through hell and back, and I was awe-struck by their willingness to have their final IVF cycle documented for MTV. Watching their episode made me realize just how powerful openness and transparency can be, and that’s when I decided to reveal my name on my blog and eventually “come out” on my personal Facebook. 

Question: How has your faith helped you through the trials and tribulations of infertility?

Answer: My faith in God is what keeps me from losing all hope. I don’t believe that God causes bad things to happen to us, but I believe He uses them for good in our lives.  Don’t get me wrong. I question God on a daily basis about why He allows infertility for me and all the other people who struggle with it. I don’t understand. But that’s where faith comes in. Even though I don’t understand, I choose to believe that there’s purpose in what I’m going through and He will ultimately use it for good.

Question: If you had a younger sister go through infertility, what advice would you give her?

Answer: I’d tell her to seek out community. It can be in the form of an in-person support group, an online group, or blogging. I’d encourage her to connect with other people who have been through infertility in whatever way she can. I’ve received so much support and made some amazing online friends through blogging, and I’d encourage her to do something similar. It’s amazing how much it helps to know that other people understand what you’re going through. 

ABOUT THE EXPERT

Lisa blogs about her infertility journey and interviews other infertility survivors at AmateurNester.com.  When she’s not blogging, she’s eating Ruffles Reduced Fat Potato Chips, watching The Big Bang Theory reruns, or reading (often all at the same time).  She lives with her husband, Tom, and their orange cat, Hemingway, on the California central coast.

Website: www.amateurnester.com 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/amateurnester 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amateurnester

Sleep Authors & Experts Interview: Dana Obleman

Q&A WITH DANA OBLEMAN

Author of The Sleep Sense Program™

Question: How did you become a Parenting/ Sleep Consultant?

Answer: It has always been my dream to work with children. To make that dream a reality, I went to college to receive a BA in psychology and an education degree in the late 1990s and then spent a few wonderful years working as a first grade teacher.

Then I got pregnant with my first child, and my life took a detour I didn’t expect! My husband and I suffered from intense sleep deprivation during the first few months of my son’s life as we struggled to deal with his sleep issues and teach him how to get a good night’s sleep. None of the parenting books available seemed to fit our family’s needs… Some were way too harsh and didn’t take the children’s needs and comfort into consideration, while others basically said, “Suck it up, mom and dad, your child’s needs are everything and it doesn’t matter if you don’t get a good night’s sleep!”

Frustrated with the lack of practical advice, I did my own research and developed my own child sleep training program which became the basis of my first book, The Sleep Sense™ Program. 

Question: What is the overall sleep philosophy with the Sleep Sense Program?

Answer: I created The Sleep Sense™ Program because I feel strongly that healthy sleep habits make for healthy children. A well-rested child is curious, energetic, happy, playful, and eager to learn. I am more interested in improving a child’s sleep than preaching a particular sleep philosophy.

While most books and programs dealing with child sleep problems take philosophical stands (based largely around the issue of “crying it out”), I believe that your child’s sleep is more important than my personal views on the subject. That’s why I’ve placed so much emphasis on accommodating different parenting styles within The Sleep Sense™ Program.

My approach to improving your child’s sleep is pretty simple. I’ll give you honest information about WHY sleep is so important for your child’s well-being. I’ll lay out an easy-to-follow, step-by-step plan that lets you make some choices about what is the right approach for your child. And I’ll show you how to measure success.

Question: Are there specific sleep props you recommend parents avoid (or give up) to improve nighttime sleep? 

Answer: A sleep prop is basically anything your child thinks she needs in order for sleep to come. So for example, if a baby is rocked to sleep, then she begins to associate sleep with rocking and will have a very difficult time getting to sleep without it because she doesn’t know how. Sleep props prevent a baby from developing internal strategies for getting themselves to sleep, therefore they tend to wake often looking for assistance. When you begin to teach a baby to sleep well, then all the props you’ve currently used need to go so your baby can begin to learn some strategies that are all her own, and become a great sleeper.

Question: Do you have any advice for those parents like us, with toddlers who were good sleepers as babies, but then suddenly started waking up crying out in the night, climbing into our bed, etc.?

Answer:  There is always a point in a toddler’s life where they begin to push the boundaries around bedtime. I’ve never met a toddler yet, who didn’t develop some sleep challenges at some point. The problem is that it usually throws the parent off, as they are wondering why their child who has slept very well, is suddenly yelling the house down at bedtime. The parent then rushes in wondering what could be wrong and often starts to negotiate. When the toddler realizes that all this fuss gets a reaction, then you can be sure he tires it again and again, and quickly a parent can lose all control over bedtime.

My best advice is that parents understand that boundary pushing is a natural part of a toddler’s development, and that if they remain consistent and firm, the testing blows over fairly quickly. It is also very important to stick to a “one warning, then consequence” rule, so that the child doesn’t endlessly push for negative attention. 

Question: For parents who want one-on-one help, what types of services do you offer?

Answer: There is always the “Do it yourself” guide with video coaching. However, some people like to have a more personal touch so I’ve certified several Sleep Sense Consultants who are on hand and personally trained by me to provide parents with the support and guidance needed to get them to success!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dana Obleman is the author of The Sleep Sense Program which has been used by more than 32,000 families to get their children sleeping through the night. You can get a free sleep assessment for your child by clicking here or visiting her website at http://www.sleepsense.net.

Twitter: @SleepBabyDana / YouTube: youtube.com/user/sleepsense

Child Development Authors & Experts Interview: Lise Eliot, Ph. D., Author of Pink Brain Blue Brain

Q&A WITH LISE ELIOT PH. D.

Author of Pink Brain Blue Brain

Question: We are big fans of your book, What’s Going On In There?, so we were very excited for your new book to be released. What inspired you to write Pink Brain Blue Brain?

Answer: Like many parents, I was fascinated by the differences between my daughter and sons.  But as a neuroscientist, I was curious how these differences are reflected in their brains. And if there are differences between boys’ and girls’ brains, what causes them—nature or nurture? I’ve also always been fascinated by the degree to which our personalities and abilities are shaped by innate factors, such as genes and hormones, versus environment—learning and experiences. Sex differences are a perfect distillation of this question, because there are obviously inborn biological differences between boys and girls, as well as deep differences in the culture boys and girls grow up in. I relished the chance to dig into the actual scientific data on the comparative roles of nature and nurture in creating sex differences in children’s brains and behavior.

Question: If readers were to take away one key lesson from your book, what do you hope it would be?

Answer: That boy-girl differences are not as “hard-wired” as many parents believe. Yes, there are innate differences, but they are more like biases, not absolute preferences or abilities.  And these small differences become magnified through all sorts of influences—marketing, parenting, and especially kid culture itself.   

There is so little we do with our brains that is actually hard-wired.   Most of our abilities, preferences, and even personality traits are shaped through neural plasticity—the brain’s fantastic ability to adapt to whatever culture, peer group, and educational system it is growing up in.  A better way to think about it is that whatever you do with your brain is what it becomes “wired” for.   So any time you see an obvious difference between men and women, or boys and girls, you have to ask yourself: How did they spend their time over the past three or thirty years to make their brains so good (or so bad) at certain skills?  And more importantly, if boys or girls are struggling in a particular area—whether it’s math, reading, or just sitting still in class—how can the right environment and forms of practice help them catch up?

Question: Did anything unexpected come out of your research writing this book?

Answer: Yes. As a biologist, I started out focused on figuring out precisely how boys’ and girls’ brains differ and the role of hormones in creating such differences. But the data just aren’t there! Scientists have identified very few reliable differences between men’s and women’s brains, much less between boys’ and girls’.  So rather than focusing on the “nature” side (for which there is very little evidence) I shifted my emphasis to the “nurture” side of the equation—toward uncovering the many ways in which parents, teachers, and especially children’s own beliefs about gender-appropriate behavior trigger the neuroplasticity that magnifies small initial differences into more troublesome boy-girl gaps.

Question: Which genuine difference surprised you the most?

Answer: The writing gap is much larger than I appreciated—especially when you consider all the great male writers through history. Boys clearly need more attention in this area, and I’ve suggested several ways to do this in the book. I was also frankly surprised that the sex difference in spatial navigation is as large as it is. I love maps and always orient myself in terms of north-south-east-west, so to learn that women, on average, really are poorer at this than men was eye-opening, and makes me all the more determined to use such “direction-speak” when I’m driving my kids—daughter and sons—around town.

On the other hand, I was honestly surprised at how weak the evidence is for hormonal effects on our mood and thinking abilities. While prenatal testosterone has some influence over play behavior and perhaps later sexual orientation, the sex hormones that rise at puberty and remain elevated in adults have surprisingly modest effects on our thinking—except for sex drive, which testosterone elevates in both men and women!

Question: You have two sons and a daughter. Do you think either girls or boys are harder to raise in a gender-balanced way?

Answer: Things have changed a lot for girls; parents’ preaching “you can do anything you want” is paying off, especially in sports and academic achievement. Girls really can do anything these days, and while some still restrict themselves to certain activities (for example, because they see computer programming camp as a “guy” thing), their parents are not usually the ones feeding them such ideas.  We are definitely seeing girls moving into areas they didn’t broach before, like playing hockey, the trombone, or running for student council president.

With boys, it’s harder, because our society is still very homophobic and many people seem to believe that sending a boy to ballet class will make him gay.  So we are freer to raise our daughters along a broader expanse of the gender spectrum, but boys are being painted into an ever-tinier corner as both they and society yields ground to girls.  It takes a community-wide effort to make a difference. In my town, we happen to have a great choral teacher who gets considerable numbers of middle-school boys singing and dancing. But this is just one lucky happenstance of local culture. Most other activities are distressingly gender-segregated, which is bad for both boys and girls.

The only way around this pink-blue barrier is to require kids to engage in certain activities. When I was in middle school, everyone had to take woodworking as part of art class. Nowadays, we let kids choose woodworking versus painting, so guess who ends up in each class? As I argue in the book, we need to reign in some of kids’ choices if we want to reduce the gnawing gaps between boys and girls.

On the other hand, as a mother of a teenaged daughter, if you ask me which sex is harder to raise, regardless of gender issues… well, answering that will just get me into a lot of trouble.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lise Eliot is Associate Professor of Neuroscience at The Chicago Medical School of Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine & Science. A Chicago native, she received an A.B. degree from Harvard University, a Ph.D. from Columbia University, and did post-doctoral research at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. In addition to teaching and writing, Dr. Eliot lectures widely on children’s brain and gender development. She lives in Lake Bluff, Illinois with her husband and three children. 

Website: http://www.liseeliot.com/  Twitter: @Lise_Eliot