Time to plan summer vacation. (Yes, I know, many of you planned months and months ago and gobbled up all the best condos. You are probably smiling with glee, just thinking about your perfect 3BR right on the ocean. We procrastinators despise each and every one of you.)
Here are the reasons I do not consider traveling with young kids a vacation:
- My idea of a vacation is to relax in a hammock on a beach reading a book. Try doing that with a 5, 3 and 1-year-old and see how many pages you can read before (a) there are children yelling or pulling each other's hair, (b) someone crawls up on your lap and puts their big head in the way of your book, or (c) your toddler is eating sand or choking on a seashell. I think my record is two and a half pages uninterrupted.
- I forgot two important words in #1 above. It should have read: "My idea of a vacation is to relax in a hammock on a beach reading a book IN SILENCE." And it's impossible to have silence unless all three kids are asleep, which only happens in tiny chunks of time in the middle of the night...if I'm lucky.
- Sleep, sleep, sleep. Another ideal. Another benefit you give up with three children under six.
- Massages? Only if other tiny feet stepping on you or elbows and knees crawling across your stomach counts. At least I don't have to pay outrageous spa fees for those.
- Easy travels. No additional information needed for those of you who've been on a plane with young children.
Yes, I know. There are wonderful moments to be shared and fun to be had on adventures with your kids. Yada, yada, yada. I am not arguing the merits of a family trip. I'm only pointing out that it is not, in fact, a vacation, and I refuse to call it one.
So, until my husband (who travels and gets a lot of time away from the kids) decides he actually wants to go on a trip just the two of us, I will have to settle for the summer kidcations and beg for an hour a day break where I can disappear and nobody can find me.