Parent Tips: That Last Nightly Bottle...and Pacifiers

I read A LOT of books about getting babies to sleep when we had Sydney. There were tidbits in all of them that I used to try to get Sydney to sleep through the night, and eventually, they either worked or she was tired enough and wired appropriately to sleep ten or eleven hours straight. But we still had a lot of challenges with her sleeping through the night consistently until she was four.

                            Sabrina Miller - Four Months Old

                            Sabrina Miller - Four Months Old

When Sabrina came along, she was a pretty good sleeper by three months, but she was still waking up once a night for milk. A friend recommended the book Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success by Suzy Giordano. I'd read it when Sydney was a baby and didn't see how in the world I could follow it successfully with her. There were so many rules to follow, including how many naps they could take during the day and how often to feed them. But I was determined to try it with Sabrina and end the middle-of-the-night wake-up. I followed the 12 Hours in 12 Weeks format of reducing her last bottle by a half ounce each night. It worked like a charm. By the time I got down to two ounces, she stopped waking up in the night for a bottle. She probably figured it wasn't worth the effort for two measly ounces. Things were going well in the sleep department.

At five months, we had another hiccup. Sabrina suddenly started waking up and crying out three or four times a night. Sometimes she’d go right back to sleep when you put the pacifier back in her mouth. Sometimes she'd stay awake crying for an hour or more. I was convinced it was the pacifier after a little online research. Everyone recommended going cold turkey. They warned it might be a painful week, but from then on, Sabrina would be sleeping through the night again.

So, I had our wonderful night nanny, Janis, come take care of Sabrina and got a great night’s sleep to prepare myself for the challenge. Then I rounded up every pacifier in the house, backpack, diaper bag, both cars and my purse, put them all in a bag that I hid away, and declared that Sabrina would no longer be using them. (I'd tried to implement a no pacifier policy before and other family members and nannies just ignored me. But it's impossible to ignore if they can't find them!) By the end of the week, she was only waking up once in the night, and in less than a week, she was sleeping 12 hours straight.  And Sabrina did that consistently until the next hiccup, at age 2.5, when she started climbing into our bed in the middle of the night. That's a topic for another post...

It's amazing how different our three kids are - in so many ways, including sleep. I'm happy to report that with Luke, we never had to do a thing about sleep. He took care of it all by himself, sleeping twelve hours a night by two months. He's woken up during the night less than a handful of times since.

Kid Favorites: Sophie the Giraffe

Sophie the Giraffe, a teether made from 100% chewable rubber, has been around since 1965.

Sophie is large (easy to find), squeezable (good for their fine motor skills), chewable everywhere (great for teeth pain) and squeaks when squeezed (fun). Sabrina loved it. And slobbered all over it.

Sophie is pricey (retail $22, $18 on Amazon), but Sabrina would tell you it's worth it. Now the company, Vulli, makes many more options, like an adorable little fawn...

 

Book Review: The Whole-Brain Child

I just finished reading The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. It's now in my Top 5 list for child development books.

The idea is to turn everyday interactions into brain-shaping opportunities. There's what most of us usually do as parents - for example, dismiss and deny. And then there's what we should do to help develop their brains.

There are 12 Whole-Brain Strategies in the book. The first strategy I tried - "Name It to Tame It" - worked immediately for all three of our kids. Now I tell everyone my new trick to stop the tears after a fall. You simply get them to talk about it, or for younger kids like Luke, repeat what's happened. "Ouch! You were running really fast and tripped on that rock!" That turns on their upper brain (thinking and reason), so that they're no longer stuck in their lower brain (fight or flight/tears).

The Whole-Brain Child talks about the science of our brains, but never speaks over your head. The content is fascinating. The examples and illustrations are simple and smart. The strategies are easy to implement. 

The book is geared toward parents and kids alike. Both of our girls sat down with me for over an hour looking at the pictures and having me read the examples. Sydney loved it so much, she has asked to see it again several times over the last few weeks. And when I find myself in a challenging situation, like Sydney crying because she suddenly doesn't want to go to school when last week she begged the doctor to let her go back, I've referred to a similar example from the book to help get us through the crisis.

Two other brain books I also recommend are Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten, by Dr. David Perlmutter and Einstein Never Used Flash Cards by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff. The overall theme is that spending time with our children - talking, singing, interacting and playing - is the most important step we can take to help them learn.

Kid Favorites: Wubbanubs

I’ve decided pacifiers are good and bad. Good – that they can help comfort your little one to sleep. Bad – that she doesn’t put it back in her mouth when she wakes up, so sometimes she has trouble getting herself back to sleep (or worse, that when she has a stuffy nose, it’s impossible for her to keep it in her mouth and breathe at the same time). 

But if you’re going to go the pacifier route, I love the Wubbanubs. Janis, our great night nanny, told us about the Wubbanubs before Sydney was born, and I bought several to bring to the hospital with me. They’re the only pacifiers Sydney or Sabrina ever used. (Luke never took to one.)

There are lots of positives about these – they stay in their mouth, they’re a pacifier and stuffed animal all in one and they’re easier to find in the crib (if you have a child that actually tries to find them) or in the diaper bag. The only downside is that they’re harder to sterilize than your average pacifier and the stuffed animal part needs to be gently cleaned every once in a while.

Parent Tips: Getting Your Kids to Stay in Bed

I have read many books about parenting. There's always something in every book that ends up working for one of our three kids. So I wanted to write a book encompassing ALL the ideas that worked for our toddlers. But since there are so many parenting books out there already, I figured maybe blogging about it would be best. So here are the ideas that worked for us, one tip at a time...

Parent Tip #1: Getting Your Kids to Stay in Bed

Our 5-year-old and our 3-year-old girls (who share a room) suddenly decided it would be fun to get back out of bed after they were tucked in. Over and over and over again. It became an epidemic. We have a consistent, restful nighttime routine, so that shouldn't have been the issue. They were clearly tired (if they did stay in bed, they fell asleep within 10 minutes), so that wasn't it either. It seemed like they just discovered it was fun to do. And they didn't want to miss anything, like most toddlers. 

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5 Things NEVER to Say to a Couple Trying to Conceive

The advice came pouring in as soon as everyone knew we were trying to get pregnant. It didn't bother me at first, but the longer we tried to get pregnant with no luck, the more frustrating it became. If you have friends or family trying to conceive, here's what NOT TO SAY to the fertility-challenged:

#1: God has a plan.

#2: Don't stress, it will all work out.

#3: You just need to go on vacation and eat some ice cream.

#4: Oh well, kids can be a pain in the a@@ anyway. 

#5: Are you sure you're doing it right?

What is okay to say? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I’m thinking of you. I’m here for you.

For those of you on the receiving end of the advice, keep in mind that most people are genuinely trying to be helpful, not hurt your feelings.

Funny Moments During Our Infertility Saga

You'll notice a theme here. Can you guess who the funny one is in this relationship?

#5. Chris playfully pretended to get up on the doctor's table and then freaked out when he realized there were metal stirrups under the colorful striped socks. I've never seen him move so fast or look so sheepish.

#4. Chris and Sydney had left me to be sewn up after the c-section and my OB said, "What was his height again?" Wait, what? His? I asked frantically, "It is a girl, right?" (I did not find this at all funny at the time! Don't mess with a woman who has her entire uterus outside her body!)

#3. Our cats decided to do a high wire act on our bed frame while we were trying to conceive. They definitely did not want us to have children. Now we see why. Cat tails are to toddlers like catnip is to cats.

#2. Chris decided it would be fun to create his own carnival ride on the doctor's chair, spinning round and round and round. He started turning green just as the doctor walked in. He jumped up so fast that he almost fell over. Dr. Vaughn raised his eyebrows, shook his head slightly, sighed (feeling a little worried for me having another child besides Chris?), and then moved on to the business at hand. 

#1. And the funniest moment of our saga... While we were waiting for the doctor, Chris turned the lights out, turned on the little flashlight connected to the table facing it toward my eyes, and screamed "WHERE ARE THE PLANS? WHERE ARE THE PLANS?" in his best German accent. I can't imagine what those nurses thought was going on in our room.

What's the funniest moment of your infertility saga?